SPECIAL EDITION: Freedom at Forty

This post is going to look a little different than most but I felt I needed to share something.  I recently hit a milestone in my life and I’m happy to say that I’m feeling much better than I ever thought I would.  For me, 40 was always a number I was afraid of reaching.  My industry is not particularly kind to the aging so I was always afraid I would be considered “out of touch” at this age.  I’ve had 3 children and my body isn’t what it use to be either nor is it where I would like it.  Unfortunately, a lot of my life has revolved around how I am perceived, what others think of me or if I’m making everyone happy.  I realize much of that is stemmed from my “oldest child syndrome.”  The truth of the matter is though at 40 I no longer care how others think or feel about my decisions about my life.  This doesn’t mean I don’t care about people’s thoughts and opinions, quite the contrary – that’s absolutely vital to staying open-minded and genuinely kind.  But I no longer care what people personally think about that fact that I live in the epitome of suburbia or that I may stop into a Target every other day or five.  I also might even go through a drive-thru (Chick-fil-A is usually my choice) for family dinner on occasion(s).  I don’t have to live in the coolest urban town, feed my family organic, gluten-free locally sourced (preferably from my own garden) kale and shop at only mom and pop boutiques and haberdasheries that give back to some country where free trade isn’t available.  (Though I love it and support it when I can).  I have reached a point in my life when it’s time to start streamlining.


Recently, my family went through some big changes.  A year ago my husband took a job in Seattle.  We packed up and decided that life is about taking risks even though it was 2000 miles from home and we didn’t know a soul.  It was the best decision we ever made!  Did we stay?  Absolutely not.  We landed back in Texas one year later with a much bigger appreciation of what we had loved and learned there but had also left behind in Texas.  As much as we LOVED Seattle and the people we met there, some of which I believe will be life long friends, it just wasn’t the fit for our family or phase in life.  We have been blessed with 3 beautiful children, one of which has Autism combined with other issues.  Within a few months we found out that this was not the best situation for him and that we needed a support system not only for his and our sanity but for our other children as well.  One of our greatest fears of moving back to Texas was, “What will people think?” They’ll think that we couldn’t do it and we’re coming back home with our tail between our legs.  But suddenly one day I looked at my son and thought,  “I don’t care what people think.”  How silly of me to care so much.  I know too many of us rely on other people’s thoughts and opinions to guide our life.  If we didn’t, we wouldn’t have this thing called social media.  When I truly let go of others’ opinions, I cannot explain the amount of freedom that came with it!  So, for now I’m going to live in this newfound freedom at my ripe, old age because friends….THIS IS 40!


P.S.  Don’t blow out sparkler candles – you might catch the people behind it on fire. 

Looks featured in this post.

This Gianni Bini Paula jumpsuit is now permanently reduced to $41.65!  AND this velvet skirt has been reduced to $24.99!  It has become a staple in my closet.  Velvet will continue to be hot for fall!  I can’t express how cute and versatile they both are!

  05046577_zi_thorny_green stellaanddotnecklace stellaanddotearclimbers vinceheels white vest handmvelvetskirt


What do you struggle with in life?  Let me know in the comments.

We’re all in this together!





You Might Also Like


  • Reply
    Jenn Clarke Hill
    August 21, 2017 at 2:31 pm

    This was awesome! Cheers to 40! I happen to be the victim of the “blowing of the sparklers”

  • Reply
    August 21, 2017 at 5:49 pm

    Lovely. Very well done, Heather. Happy 40th and happy return to Texas. You are missed! xo

  • Reply
    Heidi Abbott
    August 29, 2017 at 2:43 am

    Love this! Happy 40th… and welcome back to Texas! Love you!!

  • Reply
    Trayci Brosovic
    September 4, 2017 at 10:11 pm

    Heather, it sounds like you’ve found you way. 40 is going to be great! I’m proud of you for letting go of what others think and doing what you guys feel is best for your family. Having a child with autism is something that we share. It can be trying and without a good support system it’s very hard and often draining. We’ve been considering a move so we can have family around for that type of support. Best wishes to you and your beautiful family! Happy Birthday (late) and cheers to many more!

    • Reply
      Her Common Thread
      September 5, 2017 at 2:29 am

      Yep! Draining is exactly right! We REALLY miss Seattle and the community we found there but it was the best move for us. We had our first weekend without kids in over a year this weekend and really needed it! I can’t express what it means having that support system around! As much as where I live right now isn’t exactly my jam, it’s so good for him. In the end, that makes us all happier!

Leave a Reply